Counting Daisies (The Counting Series Book 1) by Nicola Haken

Author:Nicola Haken [Haken, Nicola]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2016-07-23T21:00:00+00:00

Chapter Nine

~Cameron~

“HE’S DOING WELL. Don’t you think?”

Paul and I were in my office after evening service. Dylan was out in the kitchen with some of the other guys, cleaning and prepping for tomorrow.

“Seems to be,” Paul said. I didn’t like the lack of sincerity in his eyes, though.

“You don’t look convinced.”

“It’s only been a few weeks. He’s not had his counselling yet, so who knows what’s going on his head.”

“So you think he still thinks about it? About using?”

“I’ve no doubt.” He looked at me like I was stupid. “He’ll always think about it, Cam.”

“Hmm.” I knew this was something I needed to talk to Dylan about, but I’d been too afraid in case I pushed him before he was ready. “I kissed him last night.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah? That’s it? You’re not going to yell or tell me I don’t know what I’m getting into?”

Paul snickered, and I almost wanted to punch him in the face. “After what you’ve been through, the things you’ve witnessed over the last few weeks, I’m pretty sure you know exactly what you’re getting into.”

I smiled, grateful that he understood, that he was my friend.

“So you just kissed?”

“I won’t push him any further until he’s ready. Not after-” Shit.

“After what?”

“N-nothing,” I stuttered. I was a crap liar and both Paul and I knew it. Dammit! Dylan’s secrets weren’t mine to share, but suddenly, the things I knew started gnawing away at my insides. I flexed my fingers as tension built in my fists. I knew so much about Dylan, things that made my heart feel like it could burst. I needed to get it out – the pain, the burden. I needed somebody to tell me Dylan would get past these things, that he’d be okay.

“After what, Cameron?” Paul’s tone was low, saturated with concern, and I realised it was because there was a silent tear trickling down my cheek. I quickly swiped it away, blowing out a puff of air.

“Dylan was, hell I don’t even know what the right term is… A rentboy? A prostitute?”

Paul’s back stiffened in his chair. “Holy fuck. I’m not overly shocked, but holy fuck.”

“You’re not?”

Paul shrugged. “Addiction makes them desperate. I know John used to steal. Hell, he spent more nights in a police cell than his own fucking house. Maybe he did more, I’ll never know. I’m not justifying his behaviour, but on some level I understand how they get to that point.”

“I don’t,” I admitted. I’d tried, but I couldn’t even imagine something having so much power over me. “Sometimes, I look at him and think why. I know I shouldn’t but I can’t help it. I can’t help imagining him with those…men. I feel like I should be angry with him. Disgusted. But instead I just hurt for him. I want to keep him safe. I want, need him to know I’d never want or expect anything he isn’t ready to give me. So, yes, we just kissed, and that’s all we’ll do until he wants it to go further.

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